Life isn't going to always be sunshine + rainbows. While we are here to live out our most authentic dreams, at times we are met with setbacks, delays and potential points of frustrationn or even flat out loss. Not too long ago (or at least in my mind) I was dealing with a major sense of heartbreak, loss and a complete override in the way I worked, lived and created. I was faced with dealing with a major project where it felt as if all the worlds I was exploring, suddenly came crashing in. Not because I was doing anything "wrong" but more so to encourage me to take more in, to look deeper at who I am, and what I have to offer this world.
In order for me and my sometimes stubborn mind, to "get the message" it took some time for me to realize, what really took place, from the levels of the soul. You see, I was working with intensive and accelerated energies that were quickening my own spiritual awakening, in the midst of building out one of the largest projects I had ever been solely managing. Throughout my process of building and producing such an impeccable space for love, light and laughter, I was being shown a lot about how I experience the world and how little I was allowing myself to play. I'm commonly someone who likes to take the world on to my shoulders. As I trust and know that the world is where I am to be, instead of needing to carry it, it came time for me to learn how to allow the world to carry me. That meant I needed to open my eyes to see where I was falling short and where I was stronger then eyes could see, and how it meant that in order for me to truly grasp this concept, "all things had to come to an end". I had to learn to let go.
As this project came to a closing point, the love of which had surrounded me, broke. My partner at the time, left and chose to move on with another for their own growth. This was hard for me to understand in that moment, I wanted us to last so badly, that I was hanging on by a thread and couldn't even acknowledge that, it had already come to a close, I had just yet to accept or acknowledge it. This wasn't really a negative, it was a massive plus, as we both needed to part in order for us to discover ourselves in more depth. Yet, the sheer act of someone else choosing to leave me, left my heart breaking so physically, I couldn't have even dreamed it was possible to feel such heart ache, but I did. And in those moments, I wasn't in the position to allow myself to feel the pain. I had a project to complete, and a lot was riding on me, as I chose to take on more that I had yet to realize I would be.
While managing this project, I was Mastering angles of producing large scale experiences, from within and without, more then I would have ever dreamed to be possible - or even understood in that moment of it coming about. I learned what it meant to have sheer acts of God coming at you with every gust of power it could throw out. Honestly, I had yet to understand what that phrase truly meant, even though it was in ever contracted I ever read.
Instead of choosing to live a well balanced life, in the end I was left taking on "too much" at once, without anywhere to vent. Because my partner had just left, and I was leaning on them way too hard for "everything", I neglected my friends, because I was "too busy" with the things I was doing, and I let go of all my spiritual practices that helped me navigate the stresses I would be facing, all to some how discover what it means to deal with setbacks in life, as if the world is crumbling. A lesson I believe we are all learning.
So, here's the thing, even when you feel like the world is crumbling in on you, it isn't, it is merely an illusion for you to wake up and discover something new about yourself. Something you have yet to acknowledge within you. Acting as a guide to redirect you along your path, these "set backs" and "breakdowns" help you come to discover that life will show up for you in ways that you had no clue you would uncover. So in the midst of epic change and what may or may not feel like your whole life come crashing in on you, it's in those moments that you learn the strength of the heart in you.
You see, this is why I believe I came to feel as if my entire life had suffered heart break, so I could learn to mend it, heal it, and grow stronger because of it - that could also be phrased as "learning to understand the strength I already had and accepting my full worth". I knew my heart was strong, and I knew my mind was feeling weak. I was working on these things. Yet, I also knew I held mounds of creativity and connection to infinite possibility. I didn't know how to get that point across though in that time, because my mind would make me feel as if I didn't deserve more in life. I actually didn't even believe I wanted life (I was suffering from thoughts of suicide). So even as I took on more, I doubted what I was receiving and the possibilities of this new beginning arriving, because it meant that I had to let everything go, without knowing if I would ever "return for more". To me, now, those suicidal thoughts, weren't something I could ignore, my soul wanted change, and that's how it expresses itself through my mind. Suffering, lack and feelings of fear to progress, all resulting in "cataclysmic death". Instead, its not about physical death, its about a spiritual means to progress and an ask from the soul to switch paths.
Once the project came to a close, I was exhausted and needed time off. Yet, due to the nature of my mind, I didn't believe I truly deserved "me time". I never knew how to ask for time to myself, and actually take it. Because I would so often give endlessly to others, I still do. Yet now, I don't take ME for granted. I know my worth and I know what it means to feel so connected, from all sides of life, and what kinds of pressures and what kinds of excitement that can offer. So I give myself time for that. I've learned, and am still learning how to balance this.
It honestly takes a lot of strength in character to understand who you are and what you need, and actually ask for it, learn to accept it and then physically receive it, because you deserve it. Especially when you lived an entire lifetime believing, you never deserved it.
It's easy to neglect yourself, it's easy to push away what you need and it's easy to ignore the path of which you are literally destined to receive. The reprogramming that needs to take place, for you to be able to accept and receive your true bounty, runs soul deep.
So, if you are like me and have come to deal with set backs in your reality, whether in life, business or love (or all three like me) here are some things that can help you process these breaks in energy.
1) Take time to Breathe. Breathe deep, sit, be. Allow yourself to feel everything that has happened or is coming to be. Pressure and excitement of possibility can actually feel like the same thing, yet when dealing with set backs, delays or adjustments to your plans, the excitement of which your spirit is feeling inside, can actually "act as if" you are terrified on the outside, in the physical process of your life. In order to balance these factors, the easiest way for you to accept what is happening, wash away what isn't happening and allow your spirit to guide you through the processing... breathing is the most fundamental key to your receiving. These are the gifts of opportunity that are literally awakening inside the reality of which you are living.
2) Let Go. There is no need to hold on to anything or anyone. When the time comes for something or someone to leave, they do, they will, and it is a part of our world. We ride frequencies, waves of energy and are at times connected to certain experiences, people or places and at other times not. Trying to control how long you are with someone, or how involved you need to be with something, is only your ego saying that you "need this to be", your heart knows what you actually need and in this life, you always receive what you need, in the moments they are destined to be. Holding on too tightly to anything or anyone, can only cause more heart ache, friction and neglecting of the path you are destined to be on - simply placing you in the midst of conflict and frustration. If you "hold on" for too long, you may run the risk of avoiding the gifts that are destined to come in the moment, because you are unwilling to see life through the eyes of the most positive. So let go, and trust that all will land where it needs. You got this, everything you need always comes to be, eventually.
3) Trust and Believe. Trust and belief are key to your growth, if you can accept what is, is what is needed, and believe that your spirit, the universe or however you perceive it, will offer you exactly what is needed, you open you mind up to realize the pressure of "having to figure it out" isn't something that will help your soul's growth. While in life, it's important for us to lay out plans, it is also important for us to understand the processes at hand, those of which that come from within. You spirit has a plan and your mind can circumvent it, if you allow it to over ride your system or feel disconnected from the spirit that is suggesting a different direction. This isn't either good or bad, it simply is what it is, and accepting the possibility of what may come, even when having to face the forest before you even see the trees, may simply be, a way for you to learn how to trust and believe, there is more here in our reality being offered from the levels of Divinity. So once you are willing to move onward and discover a new beginning, facing the obstacles without fear of them (or as little fear as possible that you can face them with), the easier the path will come to be, because your mind won't be cluttering it, with all of it's ability to disbelieve.
4) Re-Evaluate Your True Desires for Life, Love + Business Development. We are given a choice in life, to either take the time to rest and recover, recuperate and re-evaluate our means for creation + connection, or we are placed into physical situations that demand our attention. If you are not willing to take the time for yourself to truly dig into what your spirit is offering up, then you may be met with even bigger obstacles "in the end", that you never deemed possible. Taking the time to review your life path, discover your soul's purpose and paying attention to what you truly need and want in life, will help you understand the trajectory of which you are headed. It can help you circumvent issues that could come "down the line" and could also open you up to more opportunity that may be present for you at this moment in time. So take your time, enjoy the ride and allow yourself to be more present in life.
5) Patience. It truly is a virtue. If we always try to rush through it all, we lack ability to see "the whole". Meaning we miss out on the ability to move from engaging both the micro and macro aspects of our life as a whole. Trusting that life will take you where you need, when you choose to listen, take time for you and simply breathe, patience through the processing, will open you up to deeper levels of discovery and can offer you insight as to how to navigate the paths that lay ahead. We are always given multiple paths to choose from in life. We are literally living a "choose your own adventure". Yet, how would you feel if you came across a new choice in life, that jumped up with excitement every time you walked by - yet had a mask on as if to cover up it was just a small child? And a beautiful little child, they would be, even if the mask was daunting. They whom were filled with such deep levels of love and joy, were waiting there just to surprise you with love, yet you were too distracted with "needing to make the right choice in life" or "needing to know what lay underneath the mask" that you began to rush. And that sense of rushing, actually came off as a push. Rushing by, not choosing to stop and take your time to engage the child from an open mind, inquiring about where they are heading and allowing them to take their time to self express their ideas from the levels of the imagination, will only push, and break their spirits. Instead of trying to label it or place an expectation of what they may say, allow yourself to engage life through the eyes of play. This is how our spirit navigates. Embracing who we are, as inner children and discovering possibility through the eyes of the imagination, can open us up to greater realizations.
Whether it is a project, a new friend or even life as a whole, there is no rush, you always have "enough time" to grow. Your spirit will offer you all you need and more, and if you are willing to sit back and relax a little, you will receive such bold leaps forward.
So, allow yourself to be, who you are, soul deep and as you do, you'll come to discover that the entire world is conspiring, to see your light shine explicitly.
With love + light,
*PS. I got to take time away for me, and I came back stronger than I could have ever believed to be. The universe has been conspiring for me, so even as I fell, I found my way back to me, who I am and the soul I see, opening my heart for me to see, that child playing along my street.
So come back soon and discover more for your eyes to see, read and listen to, as I continue on this path of sharing what I've learned through my journey of life, as a means to support the growth + development of the soul in you. x