Today I awoke with a heavy feeling in my heart, it's a day of equality here in North America, entitled "Equal Pay Day" (although I didn't know this from the get-go) and I suppose the energies of the rebalancing act we are creating on the planet are affecting me. Noticing how my mind started with me wandering to past events and experiences where I felt cheated, hurt, put down and shut off. Having placed myself into situations where I accepted less than what I should have received, feelings of doubt in my self-worth, value, and ability to create crept in. From life, love, and business perspectives, it's as if somewhere inside me I accepted this idea that it was okay, to be put down as a woman, as a creative, and that no matter what I did in life, I would not be able to earn or receive the true value of what I am worth.
This doesn't go for just financials, but it also stretches into what I accepted in relationships, from business and love, especially when dealing with men. So how, after a lifetime of accepting a "less than" mentality, can one rise and shine, and accept more or even ask for more, without feeling they have to do something they do not wish to do or be forced into a position that will break their heart? I ask myself this today, as I face my past and deal with it head-on, learning how to make wiser decisions and choosing to find ways to increase my value, by asking for it, shedding light on the positive achievements and outlining what it is I do want for my future, through my vision boarding.
As I'm currently in a transition, creating a new life for myself, the process of any transition, tends to have an adjustment period, where I ask myself, "where do I place my energy today?" and "how do I step away from old ways/patterns and beliefs to get what it is I want in my life or move forward". Becuase well, I want more. I want the freedom to create whenever I please at the scale of whatever my heart desires, and that shall come, in time as I allow it.
Because freedom comes to those who create it, so when I step into my Creator mode, I see the path to create is the path of my greatest successes. And even though it has also been the path of my past, to create and live free, my mind, didn't always see it this way. I struggled with my life perspective, as from an early age, I didn't want life, I struggled to find ways to be happy, feel clear and content with who I was, and to be honest, I still am. Because I am a work in progress.
The path isn't always so straight and narrow, sometimes it circles back, and even though every time we circle back, we can notice how we have grown, with clearer eyes, it doesn't always have to "feel good", it can bring back feelings of the past, so to reassure ourselves, that life is always going to raise us up, even when we struggle with our raising our own selves up. Having a plan of action is nice, but plans don't always go the way we expect them too, and often we also need to learn how to be flexible, stay adaptable and learn how to not close off doors, even when all you want to do is "shut down" or "shut out" those people, places or experiences that have hurt us before.
A lesson, I honestly wish I had grasped stronger in my earlier years, however, life always has a way of giving you second chances, maybe not always in the same place, or with the same people, or with the exact opportunities, yet if you look closely, you might notice, a similarity, a common occurrence within your experience that you can find, if you are willing to see, that there is more to life then what meets the eye.
So as I take on my day, learn to move forward from my fears of falling, failing and feeling defeated from things I have created (even just thoughts and feelings), I choose to accept that life will find a way to balance itself out, and it will find a way to honor what work you have put in, even if not right away, but in the long term, those things that once felt "unequal", will rebalance itself, the tables will turn and soon, life will be on the up and up again.
And the only thing I (or we) need to do, is find more ways to see the beauty in what we produce, what we create and what we design for ourselves, knowing that as creatives, and as women, we are allowed to receive more for our work, than we ever have before. Perhaps as more individuals choose to accept and receive the vision, that their work, is worth what they desire, that our collective of women and creatives on this planet will rise, and we will no longer suppress our gifts for creation, as we once had before.
It's time we see and accept the value of a woman, the value of a Creator and that what we create brings significance, for we are the bringers of life, and for all we touch in our process of creation, we have a funny way of bringing its value to light.
So if you, are anything like me, and have felt disconnected from your core value in life, find peace in knowing, that time will tell, and you shall find your way, as you continue to take the steps to share your wealth, speak your mind, and create the visions of beauty you are given, every day you have breath in life.